PREFACE

    This book is about reincarnation. It is about my past lives, two in particular. Although, I have lived many lives before this one. Do you believe in reincarnation? I do. After experiencing the past life recall episode that I describe in this book, how could I not? Do you believe that your soul is separate from your physical body? Do you believe that your soul is the real you? I believe those things and more. Here is what I think reincarnation is:
    I believe all souls were created at once, eons ago. I don’t know when and I don’t really care to know. I do believe in God and that he created those souls. You might be thinking that I’m a creationist (i.e. a believer that God created man, not evolution). However, that would be incorrect. I believe that evolution is responsible for what we now call man (or woman). I believe that the soul and the physical body are two separate things. The soul is a life force that lives forever. The physical body is born, lives for a while (hopefully) and then dies.
    Are you still with me?
    Good!
    There is a third component, of who we are, though.

    Time to get your pitchforks and torches ready.

    I call the third component of man (or woman) a thought-collective. It is an aspect of the soul.
    A thought-collective is an ever expanding repository of all thoughts uniquely (and permanently) tied to a particular soul. Each and every soul is associated with its own unique thought-collective.
    Each person is born with a soul and its associated thought-collective. As the person experiences life (by thinking thoughts), his/her thought-collective expands. Every experience, whether positive or negative is represented in that soul’s associated thought-collective. In other words, every thought ever thought by the person is aggregated into his/her soul’s thought-collective. This thought-collective forms the beliefs of the living individual. The thought-collective and its associated soul together define the core attitudes and personality of the individual. When the person dies, this thought-collective and its associated soul continue to exist.     Some people believe that the soul is born into one and only one body, never to be born into another body again. I don’t.
I believe that each soul (and its associated thought-collective) is unique and can be born into a body that eventually dies and then that same soul can be born into a new body. For most people this cycle is repeated many times. Each cycle (i.e. incarnation) expands the thought-collective.
    The thought-collective is the aggregation of all of the thoughts and experiences of the current life and of all of the previous lives lived by a unique soul.

    Heresy, you say!

    This ‘soul-mind-body’ concept makes sense to me. For a living person: The soul is the life force expressed through emotion; The thought-collective is expressed through the mind; The body is the core attitudes and personality expressed through health. The soul and its associated thought-collective never cease to exist.

    Please put your pitchforks and torches away as I continue.

    Years ago, before I ever wrote this book, I made a wish; perhaps it was a prayer.
    “Please let me understand why I am the way I am.”
    I asked because I was tired of living a life where I felt that this world would be better off without me. Yes. I thought about killing myself a few times. I finally tried it and failed. I ended up in the hospital and was much better for it. I learned how to dance and to better express myself. Fortunately, I didn’t lose my job – a software engineer in the defense industry.
    Even though I was much better off than before. I still felt a longing to find someone that was missing from my life. It wasn’t like the way people described looking for their soul mate. It was something different. It felt like finding a person who had once meant so much to me and then lost. Well, in this life, I never lost any such person, and I had no reason to miss anyone. And, to be honest, I preferred to not be in a relationship with somebody. I’m a loner, and I like that very much. In, 1980 I saw the movie “Somewhere in Time” and it resonated with me. Christopher Reeve’s character (Richard Collier) “remembers” Jane Seymour’s character (Elise McKenna) after seeing a picture of her. Richard Collier “remembered” his relationship with Elise. Although, the relationship happened years before he was even born. I love that movie. It is my all-time favorite. That movie resonated with me. Even though it is about time travel. I thought of it as a story about reincarnation. Just a couple of years later, I met someone that resonated with me similarly, to how Elise McKenna did to Richard Collier in the movie “Somewhere in Time.” It bothered me and sometimes angered me that something was happening to me that I didn’t understand. How could I remember a person who I had never met before? This can only occur in the movies, I thought.
    Well, several years passed, during which my life was filled with wanting to solve this painful riddle: Why do I want this person, this stranger in my life? Especially now that he thinks I am nuts.
    Mind you, I still wanted to end my life. I’d been obsessing over this person for over twenty years.     Then, in 2005 the “hallucination” happened on my way to work. I saw him, the object of my obsession in the 1800’s. Suddenly my desire to end my life was lessened, and I had a new obsession. Why did I have such a “hallucinogenic” experience? Now, I had daily intrusions of this “hallucination.” No, I wasn’t taking drugs!
    These intrusions were so distracting from my obsession with this person that I started to get excited about life again. Then in 2008, I had a life threatening issue that almost killed me – a bleeding ulcer where I lost more than half of my blood. During that episode, I fought hard to stay alive, even though it would have been easier to just let myself die. I ended up in the hospital. When I was released, I was better than new. I realized that I didn’t want to die anymore.
    Once I wrote this book, the hallucinogenic intrusions disappeared from my life. Later, I moved back to my hometown of San Antonio and found that I had a renewed sense of self. I learned that the experiences of the past were best left in the past. All of the good and bad experiences of the past were what made me what I am today.
    I believe that my past includes not only this life but also all of the lives I (my soul and its associated collection of thoughts) have lived before.     As for the person with whom I was obsessed with? He’s happily married with four children (at last count) and moved on with his life. Most people do not (and should not) remember their past lives. In retrospect, I’m thankful that he didn’t remember his past life. That would have been awkward.
    I used to think that dreams never come true for me until I wished that I could remember my past lives. My wish came true, and now I remember more than anyone should. I didn’t realize that past lives are meant to grow from – not to relive.
    My takeaway: Live in the present, not the past and not the future. Appreciate the relationships in your life and cherish the respect that others have for you. And most of all, cherish the respect you have for yourself.
And, have respect for your soul, your body, and your mind. They are a great combination that makes you who you are.
    This is a story about how life stories always have happy endings (no matter how tragic the journey). This is a story about how each life always coalesces into an incredible, contrast filled, universe-expanding life.
    This is a story about how people’s lives always continue in spite of interruptions. Life always finds a way to bliss, if you let it.
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